Enduring the Pain

The beginning of a day, you wake up and feel the day, existing inside of your body are the receptors of how this day is going to be, can it be altered, maybe, the only question is How?

You know the moment you wake up how the day is going to be, like the weatherman you have a pretty good idea as soon as your eyes open and you try to move. I have a daily stretching routine that I do before I get up each morning. This will tell the tale for this day, whether it is a high or low day, I hate the high days days, really, really hate the high days.

So my eyes are open and my body is not moving, it is cold outside and raining, I can hear the water running down the gutter outside of my bedroom window. I try to move and here it comes, the intense pain, it starts in my foot, almost like a stab, but not puncturing the skin, just a stab in the bottom of my left foot, hmmm, this is new it is usually in my right foot, so here we go…… I start my back stretches, rolling my legs from side to side. This usually aligns my back, puts all the vertebrae back into place, I have 4 or so that are bulging in the middle of my back, but today they are all stiff and not aligning, they feel like they are rubbing together bone on bone. I stop the leg rolls, no please, I know what this means…..today I will have to use my cane, the risk of falling has just been told, don’t risk it, just use the cane. They I try to do the pelvis lifts, working on my body strength, I do 5, not 50…….and now here comes the pain…….

So I carefully roll upright in bed, I feel my head start to ache as I lift it to the upright position, it feels like it is sitting on a needle, and as it rolls around the needle the pain intensifies…. the pain moves up the nerve in my neck and branches into my eye, a solid 10 on the pain scale, I bow my head and wait for the pain to calm enough for me to stand up.

As I stand the pain in my foot spikes as doesn’t my hip and back. I need some heat, I grab some warm clothes and head out to the kitchen to get juice to take pills, walking as lightly as possible, the house is not cold but the dampness is in the air, all of my bones hurt, a sign of a bad pain day has only begun.

I take a small handful of pills, multi vitamin, thyroid, anti-seizure and pain pill, a hot shower will help as I walk back to the bathroom to start the water as hot as I can stand it. When I get out of the shower I grab the heated throw and head to my recliner, I have a cup of coffee and bagel for breakfast while the blanket heats me up, now if I can get the pain down to a 6 or 7 I will be happy, waiting for the pain pill to kick in I sit in my warm chair.

As I wait I close my eyes, feeling my body fighting to combat the pain my heart can be felt beating from head to toe, like it is the only organ in my body, my whole body is pounding ever so lightly but with such intensity I can feel my breathing in my toes….. finally the pain is slowing as my body relaxes under the blanket…. finally I can relax a little to get through this day, just this day, hoping that tomorrow is a pain free day……..

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