Beginning of every day….

As I am sitting in my recliner, heat on my back, blanket over myself and Mr. Max sleeping at my feet, I am trying to concentrate on a video showing the double knit Stitch for a baby blanket on a loom, I realize how much I can’t concentrate in the morning……..

My usual day begins after I wake up the last time and get out of bed, somewhere between 8-12 hours after I have gone to bed….I take my meds and get a cup of coffee, hit the recliner and wait for the rush. Now I have taken half a pain pill and a whole pain pill in the morning, trying to figure out what is the best way to take these stupid pills so that I can function…..neither way works to function before at least 3 hours have passed….

Yes, I said 3 HOURS…….I can’t focus my eyes to watch a loom knitting video after being up for 2 hours…. now I have tried eating a bowl of cereal with the pill, Instant Breakfast, bagel, Sunday brunch, you name it, I have tried it and STILL I CANNOT FOCUS MY EYES !!!! Not a blurry type vision just a delay in movement and processing.

My brain is like mush…..yes the only way I can describe it is mush, if I try to do anything I am walking in circles, what was I trying to do, find, call, OMG, I cannot remember any freakin thing. Not dementia can’t remember, I just have a delay…. like when you move your eyes and they are in slow motion, when they finally catch up to where you are the thought is gone, and if you are walking you are stumbling, everything is moving faster than I am….. I hate this….

I can’t function before 1:00 pm on a normal day, if I need to go anywhere I need to have at least 2 hour notice so I can take a shower, I hate taking a shower…..washing my hair is totally exhausting….. forget shaving my legs…. after a shower I have to sit in recliner again, my head has to rest on something….. my head feels like it is on a freakin needle. I feel like a stupid bobble head….

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